This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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