Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
