FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
