Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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