i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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