Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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