Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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