Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
