he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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