sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
