We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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