that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
