It's like God shit irony all over that family
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
