a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
