great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
