We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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