i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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