Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
