It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i will never coherently bang her
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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