i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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