question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
