No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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