"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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