We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
