He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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