no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Blood and glitter go together right?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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