i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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