oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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