Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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