yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize