Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
