i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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