Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
