Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
