ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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