You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
