My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
