In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
