I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
