When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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