Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
