I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
