Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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