Cold hands, warm shart.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
