Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
