Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
