3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize