I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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