What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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