I molested 6 butterflies tonight
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
