i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
