You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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