Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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