The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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