Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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