He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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