normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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