I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
