I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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