Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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