I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize