Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
