I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
