she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
