I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
