there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
